Count down to Puna


I was just washing dishes and thinking about all the things I have to do, all the stresses of leaving next week for Hawaii. I realized that even though some of these things suck .. I am about to start down an amazing road.  And that this time, right now, I will never feel again.  I won’t really remember this exact feeling of being on a precipice and knowing I am going to jump off.  Calm yet not.  I felt that if I should record anything, it should be who I am now and what I am now.  I will be grateful for it later I suspect.

My brain is buzzing with ideas. Some good ones I think. It is important for me to have a balance not only ecologically but also economically positive.  We have to support ourselves in this endeavor and do so pretty immediately.  I am excited to be challenged in this way, to really put my “believies” to the test.  Let’s see if we can really do it.  I am determined to make our problems into our solutions and still have time to sit in the middle of the jungle with my love, back to back and just be there.

I was telling a friend just yesterday that I felt on one hand that I was so lucky, oh my god! how lucky! To be able to go there, to live there, with my love! Our dream come true .. obviously the question was really .. do I deserve this?  And then I thought, well but no one is any more or less important than I am, the only difference is that … I asked.  I said, can I come to this place in paradise and live and work with you .. since you already have my boyfriend I suppose I have an advantage.  Of course the answer was yes!

I kind of steer away from what I consider hokey expressions so IF I use them, it is for lack of a better way of saying what I want to.  Intuition and empathy and openness are essential parts to who I am and I have such gratitude in all that has brought into my life.

Hokey as it sounds, every moment is a choice and being in the moment with positive thoughts and positive focus does make a difference.  Whatever that may be for you. It’s not that the negative isn’t there and we do not look at it but that when we do we decide more often than not that it is unimportant and has no power over us and these wonderful things we want.  No one could ever do it perfectly or all the time but trying to do it, and trying to be a real, authentic person is worthy and gives real, tangible results in one’s life.

The ethics of Care of Earth, Care of People and Return of Surplus.  For me to feel real I want to make every choice forward with those ethics in mind and do my best to achieve it.  At the same time in a kind and generous and loving way to myself.  In other words, not beating myself up for failures that are about things beyond my control.

To me those ethics say it all must balance and transitions CAN happen gradually and gently.  Some things are in focus and some are not.  It’s all good as some might say.  It’s all good.  Including the painful parts.



Louis CK – Live at The Beacon Theater HD – YouTube.

Any fan of Louis CK is bound to recognize this word. If you don’t and worse still, if you don’t know Louis, you should. Above is a link to the video, believies comes up around 6 minute mark. This is for adults, if you can’t handle the real world, with real concepts and language then don’t watch.

So go ahead and watch then come back .. I’ll wait.


At this point I wonder, how many actually watched this and how many “got it”.  Of course that is entirely subjective and judgmental and that is something I try not to be.  Yeah, a believie.  When I first saw this and heard Lewis say these words, I felt like a brick had hit me upside the head.  I’m sure that would make him grin.

I believe it .. but I’m not going to do it.

I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of them. 

They are just my beliefs, I just like believing them. 

They are my little believies! They make me feel good about who I am!

But if they get in the way of what I want – fuck that – I do what I want!

Rather than take it literally, I think I get it.  That we must inwardly challenge our beliefs if we want to be authentic people.  If we don’t really want to be, if we want to feel the pleasant feelings of our believies then we should and not feel bad about it.  If we want to live in a balance then we should really do it and have the guts to at least acknowledge our believies.

One thing I say I hate is hypocrisy.   Yet if I were really honest with myself, many times I am just feeling a believie but completely unprepared to do anything about it. To have that manifest in how I live my life.   If asked why, I’d probably say “I don’t know”.  But I would .. down deep ..  that’s work .. that’s scary .. perhaps I can’t do it .. perhaps there is nothing to this ..

People like Louis CK and George Carin are great gifts to us.  They help us see the absurdity of us in glaring, up-close, truth of what we do.  As humans and as societies and cultures.  They challenge beliefs with hard observations and challenges that most of us haven’t the guts to.  Yet we must want to at least a little or they wouldn’t be so popular. George Carlin was a legend in his own time and his words will be quoted forever.

I love these moments of synchronicity that appear throughout life, that take us farther on the journey of experience.   These moments add to all the others, making me who I am, making you who you are.

So the question is, how much can we take our believies and make them authentic? How can we make them take form in our lives?  Give us actions to do.  Step by step, choice by choice  …. each moment is ready to be that.

Life is fucking brilliant, I am much in favor of it.

What’s been happening!


In a nutshell?  Change!  Lots of changes, some of them very painful and some of them very joyful.

Personal, emotional and spiritual development has always been a big part of what I spend a lot of time thinking about, especially lately.  As I get older, I have had very specific and profound breakthroughs, like most people have.  Even if a person is only marginally able to self reflect, they still have these experiences throughout life.   I have always known that most of the time I only acknowledged the problem or challenge that I was facing, honestly and realistically I hope, but that I still rarely was able to act with any motivation to resolve it. A breakthrough in self-reflection is one thing, but it is not the change that should come from it.  This seems to be epidemic in our society.  I am not the only person who is stuck in that behavior or belief.  If this wasn’t true, we wouldn’t be doing all the mind-boggling things we do.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made great strides. I enjoy challenging myself, especially when it comes to really deeply personal issues.   One of the more positive has been in my continuing effort to honor and accept how others choose to live their lives.  Especially those that I love. It is selfish because I want them to do that for me.  I want them to love all of who I am, the weird person, the shy person, the naïve person, the sarcastic person.  That includes body image that ties into deeply intimate parts of who I am.   I had to have that in the person I share my life with and I do but I want it from all people who share in my life, all people who I love.  To have that I have to give it and I work hard to do that.  I get better everyday.

I always make it a point to check in with my intuition, rarely does it lie to me.  It had always told me that the key would be in the right tools.  This of course has meant a life long search for the tools that are best for me.  Perhaps it is a hit or miss kind of thing depending on when you learn about what philosophy or technique or belief system,.   I suspect it has just as much to do with my personal belief structure which is as unique as my fingerprint. Timing is everything? It doesn’t matter.  For me it had everything to do with my belief that wonderment and searching and exploring were what was important.

Much of what I looked at however was getting caught up in too much extraneous dressing or as a wise man has said, romance.  I felt like everything was just too much. Too many rules, too negative, too positive, too much ritual. Sure we are talking about big things here but for me all that had gotten in the way, it was my excuse for not doing the work that I knew I wanted to do.  I want to be a happy, healthy, joyful and fulfilled human being.  I want to be in every moment fully and have joy in it.  I also knew it wouldn’t be easy, it would be painful and I was fearful that in fact I couldn’t really achieve it. 

Lucky for me I did manage to find some tools that look like they very well might work for me.  I am already well on my path by reaching out and discovering permaculture and the hope that it has brought me in what human beings really can do with their lives, any of us can do.  The realization that as humans have destroyed much, we can, have and should heal and create much.  It would be easy and wonderful and wise if only we would just decide that was what we were going to do.

The other side of that is of course obvious and that is what I turn my back on because that is the status quot, that is violent, that is hard, that is meaningless to me, pointless.  Sure I will always be forced to participate somewhat in society or I will create too much chaos in my life but I can and have unplugged myself.  I will no longer try to fight that which I am powerless to change, it is only myself and my personal experience that I can change.

I have said to society that it saddens me that you think there is no other way, I don’t choose to believe that.  We will be over here trying something different, something beautiful and positive.  We have committed ourselves to these simple, basic ethics and we will patiently and eagerly wait for you if you change your mind.  We will then happily show you what we have done, how we have done it and invite you to join us, to make your contribution.  We will continue to try to motivate and encourage others to do the same by having the experience, of showing by action and result that it is possible.

A recent addition to my tools is the ancient Hawaiian Huna spiritual practices.  I am just learning about this myself, motivated to do so in the hopes of sharing in the experiences that my love is having at his permaculture internship in Hawaii. As any good geek chick, dedicated to self-education, a quick google search brought me to and I knew almost immediately that this was what I had been looking for.  Practical, simple, joyful, powerful, self guiding and motivating and deeply connected intimately to body and mind and spirit. It is also humble and kind and gentle.

If you are interested, give it a look.  I suggest the Articles section for short introductory articles about Huna and then a visit to their YouTube channel.  Huna Healing in three parts is not to be missed.   I am grateful to discover that I was right to listen to my intuition and not use the word Aloha until I truly understood what it meant.


6 Core Permaculture Techniques – Producing Food Sustainably and Naturally – YouTube


Jack Spirko of The Survival Podcast just made this video with powerpoint that I found to be fantastic.   He is enthusiastic, experienced and this video is full of details that have really helped tie some things together for me.   Strengthening the web!

Hope you find it as interesting as I have.

via 6 Core Permaculture Techniques – Producing Food Sustainably and Naturally – YouTube.


Permaculture | Scribd


Many of us are struggling. Many of us have no money to spend even on used books or gas to get to the library. On the other hand, most of us, at least in the developed world, have internet of some kind.  The resources available to anyone with the curiosity and guts to look for answers will find them.

Learning to self-educate with the ability to evaluate what you expose yourself to is a worthy challenge for any adult.  Any person really.  Children should be given more time for self guided education.  You want them to find a career doing something they love? Let them guide at least half of what they learn and that is what they will do.  To me that fits perfectly with permaculture.  I encourage anyone who reads these words to search and read and question.  Learn the difference between an observable fact and a concept.

Scribd. is a great resource with many books, articles, papers, thesis and  transcripts which can all be read online for free.  There are Android and iPhone apps which make them much more convenient to read.

Permaculture | Scribd.

Japanese Permaculture Garden at Misumi Ecovillage Saihate


This is a wonderful idea for almost any space or situation where excess water might be an issue. Even if it isn’t, with different materials the same design and patterning techniques are wonderful!

Tsuchi Dango


Design by  Sugiyama Tomomi of Ravenart

Permaculture Design & Consultancy

This raised bed construction is an adaptation of the Sheet mulching or also known as Lasagna gardening technique.

The structure is made of  rebar sheets normally used for making concrete slabs, doubled with a wire mesh.

Just like composting, the bed is made of several alternating layers of nitrogen rich material and carbon rich material. However once built, the layers won’t be mixed like when composting, allowing for the increase in temperature from bacterial decomposition to drop and leave place to a slow decomposition.

It is recommended to wait for at least a week before planting seedlings in such a bed, to allow for the strong temperatures to dissipate. The warm bed will be a perfect nursery for the new seedling, especially in early spring.

The mesh structure holding the bed upright, allows for plenty of gas exchange…

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Goodreads | Permaculture: A Designers’ Manual by Bill Mollison – Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists


We finally have our copy of this and I am pretty excited.  There is a ton of information online now, wonderful resources that can teach you everything you need to know but there is something about learning from Bill that can’t be missed.  Additionally, there are a lot of great videos available featuring Bill in locations all over the world and I recommend all of them.

With all these resources and some hands on experience through a PDC and/or internship then perhaps some WWOOFing, we will be ready to design and build our farm anywhere in the world.  The feeling of taking your destiny in your own hands and at the same time living how you really want to live, happy and fulfilled, is indescribable.

PERMACULTURE A Designers' Manual by Bill Mollison

Goodreads | Permaculture: A Designers’ Manual by Bill Mollison – Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists.

Deep Green Permaculture | The Sustainable Organic Gardening Guide for Self-Sufficient People


When I began looking for alternative farming techniques and discovered Permaculture, this site was one of the first I found.  I spent a few days reading all the articles, becoming more excited and inspired than I thought was possible a week before.  That may not sound like much but it was. It was life changing.

Thank you Angelo for sharing your journey and I look forward to joining the global permaculture community in helping the world back into abundance.

Deep Green Permaculture | The Sustainable Organic Gardening Guide for Self-Sufficient People.

7 Nutrient-Rich Brews Your Plants Will Love :



These are easy steps that anyone can take immediately to start getting use to a more sustainable existence. To take seriously the commitment to not waste resources and to help our environment.  These are some of the things that I am doing right now, building habits so they will be in place well before I actually will depend on those habits to thrive.

I’ll post more of these as I come across them and add them into my life.  Tell me about things you are doing to live a more sustainable life!

7 Nutrient-Rich Brews Your Plants Will Love :

7 Nutrient-Rich Brews Your Plants Will Love :